“Holdin’ On”

*ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED NOVEMBER 11, 2020*

Unfortunately last night I didn’t make the time to relax to some music. It was a very busy day after school and preparing for my evening conferences on Google Meet. I went to my mother’s to have dinner with her and my step-father and decided to just stay there to conduct my conferences. Don’t get me wrong…the conferences went well. I have an amazing group of parents this year who are extremely supportive. But as you know, it’s 2020 and we are all full of different anxieties over different things. 

It saddens me that some of my little rock stars become full of anxiety when doing their work virtually. We must remember that every child is different and they  process things in different ways. Some children thrive with virtual learning, while others need that in person contact with the teacher. So hearing about some of them having anxiety while learning from home hit me hard. I felt grateful that this one parent felt comfortable enough to open up to me about it. We discussed ideas, strategies, and tools they can use at home to help their child with coping with virtual learning. What just about broke me though was when the mother just about broke down crying in relief. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from her just knowing that we are going to all get through this together as a team. I reassured her that she is an amazing parent and has raised her child so wonderfully that she should not only be proud of him, but to also be proud of HERSELF. She got very emotional and all I wanted to do was give her a hug. But alas, we are on Google Meet.

I am one of those empaths that physically and emotionally feel what others are physically and emotionally feeling. So when this parent was telling me about their child’s struggles with anxiety during their virtual learning days, I became overwhelmed with anxiety myself. I was literally feeling the same things he probably feels. I went to bed last night feeling restless, my heart racing, and my mind going a mile a minute. 

What I should have done? Listen to music. Obviously.

But did I do the obvious? Well, let’s just say I’m hanging my head in shame as I answer with a pathetic “no.” 

Out of all days/evenings, music was needed the most last night. I’m sure I would have had a little better of an evening and a better night’s sleep if I did listen to some music. So, hopefully I learned my lesson.

Today is an all-virtual day for all students. They are all watching the video lessons and completing their assignments at home while I’m alone in my classroom meeting with students in groups and some 1-on-1 sessions. It’s probably for the best that I’m alone in my room. Why? Well, can you guess what’s going on in my classroom?

Music is playing. Yes, I do learn from my mistakes quickly (well, most of the time at least…no one is perfect and sometimes I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment).

Now playing: Citizen Cope (all albums on shuffle on my phone)

Today’s spotlight tracks: “Holdin’ On” and “Sideways”

If you haven’t heard of Citizen Cope, I highly suggest giving them a listen. Very mellow stuff. One of my recent favorite tracks is “Holdin’ On.” It is one of those songs where the melody hits you straight in your core. I literally “feel” this song. Yes, I’m also one of those people who physically feel music. Sometimes I feel it on my skin. This song…well, I actually feel the melody running through my veins. 

There is some music I listen to for the lyrics. Then others I listen to for the melody. Then there are some special ones that both the lyrics and melody are equally powerful. I usually listen to Citizen Cope for the melodies. The instrumentals that I am listening to as I have it on shuffle are so soothing and therapeutic for me today. 

I am working hard today to keep my energy shield activated to block out negative energy. I’m continuing to take in only positive energy around me and release it into the world around me.

In the meantime, I continue to sing myself the lyrics
🎵 “Let yourself go girl, let yourself go…”🎵